Today has been a lazy Sunday to say the least and I have had all day to sit around and think about my current situations…
I tend to care far more in all situations than other people do. I love harder, hurt deeper, laugh harder, and try my best to heal others of their pain but sometimes I need someone to help me as well.
Why do I allow myself to stay in such a lonely place in my own little world? Sometimes it gets very hard having to (basically) live daily life and parent alone.
My husband works as much as he possibly can to give us everything that we want and need but really, Money can’t buy me Love. Money gets me nowhere when I am sleeping alone at night or just needing someone to talk to.
Sometimes it is good to be alone, I know, but it is also to be someone priority too.
Emotions and words get tangled, social media, electronics and other things get in the way of the one thing we all want in life, to spend time with the ones that you love.
I may be “annoying or needy” but it is just because when I have the chance, I want to be together. Tomorrow is never promised and I try to LOVE like there is no tomorrow. I do not want to leave this earth with out all of my loved ones knowing how much I love them.
Maybe it’s the medication, I am unbalanced and emotional but when I feel, I feel deeply. I have always been this kind of person and I do not plan on changing.
Life is hard, living is hard and Love is the hardest of all.
– Kasey Gruenewald
I don’t know about you all but I have been sickly, cold and staying indoors lately. We recently have had the coldest cold front we have had in a long time and this little lady just isn’t for it. My immune system is doing its best thankfully because I have to avoid any and all infections due to how my bladder flares after antibiotics.
So I have been filling my down time with movies other than reading and yes I will be sharing my view on “Fight less, Love more” when I am finished with it.
Last nights movie was “Stepmom” starring Julia Roberts and Susan Surandon, one of my favorite movies from my younger years. This movie is a perfect movies for a cold winter day. I have been off of my Anti-depressant medication since the 29th and I am a big ball of Emotion!!!!!
As a child I did not know what Cancer even was or as an adult I really do cry my eyes out. Is it just me or is Cancer way more common these days than in the 90s? I think so.
Another favorite is “Crazy, Stupid, Love”. The cast of this movie is just amazing and every little twist and turn is hilarious and heartfelt. Movies like this shows me that you don’t have to have a picture perfect life to have it all. Sometimes things fall apart, sometimes life gets crazy but it is how you deal with it, that’s what matters.
Let me just say that Shailene Woodley has always been a favorite actress and when she stars in a movie, I know I am going to be in love. Her corcky and raw personality along with Ansel Elgort just went together perfectly! I have watched this movie a Hundred Million times and I will never get over the heartache.
So, Tomorrow I will be uploading a new Vlog on my YouTube channel Subscribe here! I will be loading weekly Vlogs ever Friday for the whole Year of 2018!!!!! Oh snap! It’s about to get real guys!
Let me know some of your favorite Movies to keep me company while I am in bed a lot. I love watching and reading new books and opening my mind to creative worlds.
Until tomorrow. Xoxo
– Kasey Gruenewald
I can’t even lie about crying last night due to all the cloudy negativity and insecurities in my mind. Sometimes I feel like I am failing as a person, mom and wife and I probably do but this year I want to try harder. I want to spend time doing positive things and being a lot more adventurous. I spent way too much time in 2017 in self pity and hating everyone and everything. I was angry for things that had nothing to do with anyone but me. So now after doing some soul searching and working on myself from the inside out I feel I am strong enough to put myself into a positive state of mind.
We (My Husband and I) have both worked our asses off to get to where we are today and I feel now more than ever, it is time to enjoy our lives together.
I have been a mess of a woman and I have never been comfortable with being me so how could I expect to let others in right?
My sister gave me “Fight less, Love more” by Laurie Puhn, JD maybe four years ago and this poor book has done nothing but collecting dust.
So I have decided I will be spending my free time reading this wonderful book and picking up new hobbies that will help me keep up the positivity. Wish me luck, and I hope your 2018 is off to a Great start! The sky is the limit babes, you can do anything that you put your mind to.
– Kasey Gruenewald
I would have to say one of the biggest obstacles I have struggled with has always been my eating problems and stress/anxiety disorder. I used to not care about myself or even thought that I was worth anything because I didn’t see it. I used to be in a vey dark and scary place but I am so happy to say that this New Year has began as Kasey being the Healthiest and happiest EVER! I reached a goal that has always been impossible. I could never maintain my weight (ever) and I had a hard time keeping my weight above 85lb. I am so thankful to say that the first day of a New Year begins with my highest weight ever and I am no longer struggling!
I see myself where I am today and all the hell I went through to be where I am today and I can smile. I know that every struggle and all of those mountains I had to climb was to reach the top and to keep going! I have grown as a Wife, Mother, and basic human being. I have a Husband who loves me, children who adore me and inner strength I never knew I had.
Sometime I find it crazy that the one thing that made me realize my strength is the one thing I thought would drag me down. After my diagnosis with Interstitial Cystitis it was like something clicked in my head and I realized that even though I have this life altering chronic syndrome, I am alive and ready to live.
I will take this year, the last year of my 20s and I will be so much more than I ever believed I could. I know the whole “New Year, New Me” is a clique but really my goal this year is to “Heal” from the inside out. I will no longer run from my fears but rather take them head on. I will begin working on my Health and fitness like I never have and I am stoked to bring you all along on my journey! Follow my Instagram for a full look into my life. I can only imagine where I will be in a single year but wherever I go, I am taking you all with me. I will open up and share the good and the bad. I will share my whole experience of 2018 with all of my viewers and I hope you all will stick along for the ride. Cheers to New Years, let’s make the best of 2018!
– Kasey Gruenewald