A small town girl with big dreams and even bigger insecurities and that is only the beginning. I do not live a lavish, glamorous lifestyle, I struggle with things more than most and I battle my demons every day.
I have a bigger dream than most and I am doing my best to reach for my goals but I am pulled back over and over with the constant struggle of depression and insecurities and I am not afraid to admit it!
I will not lie or try to be someone that I am not.. I am as real as possible but how do I even know others care if I make it, or only if I fail?
I have never been good at anything in my life I mean I wasn’t the “pretty” girl or good at athletics… I wasn’t even smart in school. I was more of the slacker…. I wore my hoodies and hid behind dark eyeliner and music. I avoided being I really am until about 3 months ago. It finally triggered, why would I continue to allow others to keep me from being who I am? If they didn’t like me then well… being who I am can’t hurt right? Let’s be real the biggest shit talkers I know share my DNA… like that doesn’t hurt enough?
Being a very tiny girl (4’9 95lb) is a struggle on its own. I am almost 29 years old and NO one takes you serious about a damn thing when you still look half of your age… seriously I think it is a major disadvantage but this is how I was created… not like I can do anything about it.
Yes I love to wear skinny jeans and t-shirts but that doesn’t mean I am unkept. My house is hardly spotless but I’m not a slob. My kitchen is always stocked with goodies for my family but yes we are as healthy as possible due to my diagnosis.. I don’t have any other choice.
I am not the mother I hoped I would be but I am still trying. I show my children the love and support I didn’t receive as a child and let me tell you.. as long as you love them, guide them and celebrate them then I think your kicking ass!
Yes this is a post about me but who cares? I am in a rut and I am digging my way out, it happens. I am not weak and I am not giving up! I will make my dreams into a reality and I will work day and night to become a success and make my husband and children proud.
Kasey Gruenewald is stronger than those demons.
– Kasey Gruenewald